Don’t Laugh, It’s a Fax!

Some people think that I hate
technology because I suppose I haven’t been crystal clear in my explanations.
So permit me to pen a few brief sentences in order to clarify my position. I
love cell phones and computers because they so effectively immobilize everyone
who could be a potential competitor. Entering Network Marketing without a cell
phone is like entering the special Olympics without a handicap. I would even
argue that in MLM it is a bit unfair to not have a cell phone or computer.

We are paid to do two things:
recruit and retail. We are not paid to take inbound calls nor continuously monitor
binary code. Trust me, no company is going to ever figure out how to monetize
incoming text or irrelevant minutiae in order to pay multi-level compensation.
While other people talk on their phones and drive around in an unfocused daze,
all you need to do is talk to other human beings about your products or

I’ve created treatment centers and
observed the behavior of many people coming off cocaine and heroine. None
exhibit the kind of addictive frenzy that I recently observed when our plane
landed after a five-hour flight from Maui to Portland. When the flight attendant told the
passengers that they could once again use their cell phones, she might as well
have been in an opium den in Asia giving
people permission to fire up their pipes. People were literally that frantic.
The guy sitting across from me in first class actually started trembling with
such excitement that he fumbled his phone and dropped it before he could even
turn it on.

Once inside the terminal I made
another observation. It used to be a foot race to get our luggage or clear
customs. But now that people shuffle through the terminal like zombies in Night
of The Living Dead scrolling through their digital accessories, it’s easy to
pass everyone even if you were seated in 37J. But if you really want to observe
comedy central, watch people around the luggage carousel and those attempting
to leave. No kidding…I saw a lady push a huge cart of suitcases into a 20ft.
glass wall nowhere near the exit door as she attempted to talk on her cell
phone and leave the airport simultaneously. Unperturbed, she rolled her cart
backwards over her big toe, shrieked an expletive, and then told the person to
whom she was talking that she had to get off the phone because the airport was
turning into a “nightmare.” The airport was not turning into anything.
Technology was turning a seemingly mature adult into a moron.

So, I reiterate. I love technology
and I’m pleased that everyone in the world is accessible to me 24/7 so that I
need not carry a digital leash. If you need to reach me, simply leave a message
on my landline and I’ll call you back at my convenience. Those of you who have
actually graduated to a prosthetic ear cell hanging from your temple like a
stalagtite at Marvel Cave…cool beans! And
the next time you see some guy walk out of a public restroom with a piece of
toilet paper sticking out the back of his pants…don’t make fun of him. He’s
probably just receiving a fax.

So, you see, I really do love
technology for many reason. In the words of George Carlin; “except for golf, no
other human activity provides as much fuel for humor as technology.”